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Clinton jokes
Joke 1
Q: How does Bill Clinton say "I'm about to hurt you"? A: "Trust me."

Joke 2
Q: What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and a pit bull? A: The pit bull doesn't carry a briefcase.

Joke 3
Q: What is the difference between Dan Quayle, Bill Clinton and Jane Fonda? A: Jane Fonda went to Vietnam.

Joke 4
Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him, "Bill, I had a wonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautiful country, and on each house I saw a banner." "What did it say on the banners?" Clinton asks. Saddam replies, "Allah is god, god is Allah." Clinton says, "You know, Saddam, I am really happy you called. Last night I had a similar dream. I could see all of Baghdad, and it was more beautiful than ever. It had been rebuilt completely, and on each house flew an enormous banner." "What could you see on the banners?" Saddam asks. Clinton replies, "I don't know. I can't read Hebrew."

Joke 5
Q: How can you tell Bill Clinton apart from a cow? A: By the wise look in the eyes.

Joke 6
Q: How can you tell Bill Clinton from a bunch of dead bodies? A: He's the stiff one.

Joke 7
Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two--One to promise he'll do it better than anyone else and one to obscure the issues.

Joke 8
Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None--He'll only promise "change."

Joke 9
Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: He doesn't! He whines a while, says "I feel your pain", and gets congress to pass a billion dollar light security bill, and blames Republicans and special interests for not making lightbulbs free.

Joke 10
Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: Because they're sending their turkey to the White House!

Joke 11
Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: Because they can't afford any more pork.

Joke 12
Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: Reagan ate all the jellybeans.

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