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Bicycle jokes
Joke 1
While crossing the US-Mexican border on his bicycle, the man was stopped by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man had on his shoulders. "What's in the bags?", asked the guard. "Sand," said the cyclist. "Get them off - we'll take a look," said the guard. The Cyclist did as he was told, emptied the bags, and proving they contained nothing but sand, reloaded the bags, put them on his shoulders and continued across the border. Two weeks later, the same thing happened. Again the guard demanded to see the two bags, which again contained nothing but sand. This went on every week for six months, until one day the cyclist with the sand bags failed to appear. A few days later, the guard happened to meet the cyclist downtown. "Say friend, you sure had us crazy", said the guard. "We knew you were smuggling something across the border. I won't say a word - but what is it you were smu ggling?" "Bicycles!"

Joke 2
What is a ghost-proof bicycle? One with no spooks in it.

Joke 3
"Lie flat on your backs, class, and circle your feet in the air as if you were riding your bikes," said the gym teacher. "Fred! What are you doing? Move your feet, boy." "I'm freewheeling, sir."

Joke 4
Did you hear about the vampire bicycle that went round biting people's arms off? It was a vicious cycle.

Joke 5
My dog is a nuisance. He chases everyone on a bicycle. What can I do? Take his bike away.

Joke 6
Romeo: Your cheeks are like petals. Juliet: Really? Romeo: Yes, bicycle pedals.

Joke 7
Which is the cheapest bicycle you can buy? A penny-farthing.

Joke 8
What did the silly boy take his bicycle to bed with him? Because he didn't want to walk in his sleep.

Joke 9
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up for itself? Because it was two-tyred.

Joke 10
A little boy out riding his bicycle knocked down an old lady. She was a bit shaken, but got up, dusted herself off, then turned to the little boy and said, 'Don't you know how to ride a bike?' 'Yes,' he answered, 'but I don't know how to ring the bell yet'

Joke 11
Jack and Jill were riding a tandem up a hill, but making heavy weather of it. At the top, Jack said: 'I didn't think we'd make it!' Jill replied, 'Nor did I - what a good thing I kept the brakes on, or we'd have slid all the way back down!'

Joke 12
I went on a long bicycle ride yesterday. Farcical?

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